Marie and Rachel's version of Eclipse The Spoof
by BlackDahlia17
Summary: This is a story that is a play me and Rachel made up 4 a school project,UNBELIEVABLE! It is about Bella and Jakey going to find her beloved boyfriend who is a vampire but nobody knows it on Candy Mountain.With the EVIL SINGING LETTERS!flames r welcome.


Marie & Rachel's version of **Eclipse** (The Spoof)

Characters: Jakey, Bella, Edward, Jasper, Cuddles (the mutated bunny), Evil Singing Letters (C, A, N, D, Y), Gerard Way, Mr. Narrator, L.C Candle (Narrator 2), and MCR band.

Narr: It was a dark, starry night with the moon shining overhead. Most people were sound asleep but there was a certain someone was having trouble doing just that.

Edward: Well _duh_, Mr. Narrarrarrarrator. I don't sleep!

Narr: Not you, Edward.

Edward: Oops. My bad.

Narr: Anyways . . .

Bella: Sob! My dear boyfriend who is a vampire but nobody knows it is out fighting crime in a Pink Power Ranger Mighty Morpher suit on Candy Mountain! With the Evil Singing LETTERS!! Wait! I hear a noise at the window!

(Scratching noises)

Is it my boyfriend who is a vampire but nobody knows it who is out fighting crime in a Pink Power Ranger Mighty Morpher suit on Candy Mountain!? With the Evil Singing LETTERS?

Narr: Whoa. Déjà Vu … um, let's continue. A dark figure appeared in the window and busted through with pride.

Strange Figure: It is I!! JAKEY BLACK! With my mutated Bunny CUDDLES!

(Bella stares in confusion)

Jakey: I have come far to deliver a very important MessAGE!!

Bella: Which is…?

Jakey: I like PIE!!!

Bella: Get out of here you stinkin' PERVE!

(Throws alarm clock at Jakey and misses)

(Jakey stares at the shattered alarm clock and grins psychotically)

Jakey: I have seen time fly! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!

Bella: Get OUT!

(Throws pillow and watches in delight as Jakey flew out the window)

Perve…

Jakey: I heard that! I AM NOT! This…

(Randomly jumps back onto windowsill)

…is perverted.

(Randomly looks up male Barbie doll's skirt)

Narr: Okay…I'm gonna take a break take a break. Where's Narrator 2?

(L.C Candle (a.k.a. narrator 2) shows up)

L.C.: Here! OK what's going on- oh… I don't even wanna know…

(Stares at Jakey looking up male Barbie doll's skirt)

L.C.: Let's go on…

Bella: swats Jakeys hand awayFine, PERVE, do you know where Edward is?

Jakey: Give me one good reason to tell you.

Bella: I've got a bag of Kibbles n' Bits. Good for a growing werewolf.

Jakey: So tempting…but I must restrain myself.

Bella: You know you want them…

(Bella has an evil grin and shakes the box inches from his face)

Jakey: Okay! Follow me…!!

(Jakey pulls Bella and Kibbles n' Bits to magical rainbow outside of Bella's window)

L.C.: So…where is Candy Mountain?

Jakey: In the back of Bella's old STINKY truck!

Bella: Oooh…kay…

(Jakey holding Bella's arm heading to the back of Bella's old STINKY truck. When they go in the back of the old stinky truck, it magically takes them to Candy Mountain)

Jakey: Ta-da!

L.C.: So, they're in Candy Mountain…

Jakey: Wait! WHERE IS CUDDLES!!!

L.C.: He's in Bella's…Let's go check on him…

(Flashes over to CUDDLES, who is stuck in Bella's window)

L.C.: Does that answer your question?

Jakey: munching on Kibbles n' Bits, looks up What're we talking about?

L.C.: Going on…Oh my Carlisle , whose in the YELLOW light speed rescue suit?!

Bella: Edward!

Dude in Yellow Light speed rescue suit: No…

Bella: Edward!!

Dude in Yellow Light Speed Rescue suit: No.

Bella: EDWARD!!!

Dude in yellow light speed rescue suit: NO!!! It's Jasper! Why don't you like me Bella! I'm cool, aren't I? My mom says I'm cool. Are you even listening to me?

L.C.: Meanwhile, Bella is distracted by the evil singing letters.

Jakey: Hey! Evil singing Letters?!! Do you know where the pink mighty morpher power ranger is?

Letter C: He's over there with Charlie the Unicorn.

L.C.: Charlie? Isn't he missing a kindney?

Bella: EDWARDOOO!!

L.C.: Edwardo?

(Pink Power Ranger Mighty Morpher named Edward appears in a small Power Ranger suit with skirt)

Edward: I am HERE! At Candy Mountain Cave!

Jakey: That is just WRONG.

L.C.: Wait a minute…Where's my bunny eraser?

(Pet mutant bunny eraser fell from rainbow and into Candy Mountain with only 1 ear)

Jakey: NO!!! Cuddles! Why did this have to happen to you?!

Edward: What's with him?

Jasper: Don't ask me, I just got here.

L.C.: Bella still distracted by evil singing letters…

Bella: Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave…

Edward: No! She's being brainwashed! I'll save you, Bella!

L.C.: Meanwhile, Edward takes eraser from mourning Jakey and throws at Bella's head…just so you know.

Jakey: NO!!! CUDDLES!!!

Evil Singing Letters: Turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing Candy Tree. Da da da da da da loves so free so now Bella would you please go into the cave?

Edward: No! This SONG! clears throat When you walk away, you don't hear me say,

PLEASE…BABY…

Jasper: NO! _This_ SONG! clears throat I chimed in with a "haven't you people ever heard of, closing the-

L.C.: Hey! This is a kid's play!

Jasper: FINE! "Closing the _GOSH DARN_ DOOR!" Happy now?!

Jakey: While they are ARGUING (!!) I will dramatic pause and continues in Transylvanian accent save Isabella!!

L.C.: But just as Jakey tried to save her, Bella bent over…

Bella: Hey look! It's CUDDLES!!

L.C.: …and Jakey flew into the Candy Mountain Cave. Ouch…

Letter C: No.

Letter A: Freakin'!

Letter N: Way.

Letter D: But…

Letter Y: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BELLA!

(doors close)

Edward: waves idiotically Bye-bye JAKEY!

Jakey: No freakin' way-

Edward: YEAH WAY.

Jakey: No way-

Edward: YEAH WAY!!

Jakey: NO WAY!!!

Edward: YEAH-

Bella: Points into distance GERARD WAY!

L.C.: Rachel had to add Gerard…looks at bleach blond applying eyeliner

Bella: OMC! He's SHIRTLESS!

Edward: That's not cool…

Gerard: I'm going to RUN now…

Jasper: I sense a chasing montage! points finger and hears squeaky noise and moves arm s in running motion Listen to my SUIT! It's squeaky, squeaky, squeaky!

Edward: OOOOH! Squeaky SUIT! Edward copies Jasper

Jakey: HELLOOO! I'm BLEEDING IN HERE!

Gerard: Why are you bleeding…?

Jakey: They took my…KIDNEY!!

Edward: Mmm…blood…

Gerard: You're a vampire? AWESOME! Wanna play World of War Craft?

Edward: Okay!

Jasper: Hey, I want to play World of War Craft, too!

Edward: No you're too stupid to play it.

Jasper: Well, you aren't smart enough either!

Edward: Yeah, you got a point there.

Gerard:mutters Idiots…

Bella: GERARDUH! tackles him hears horrible smooching noises

L.C.: Eww…kay.

Gerard: Get smooch off smooch ME!! smooch smooch

Bella: NO! Must SMOOCH! smoochy

Gerard slips away and hands Bella a twig to smooch on

Bella: Smooch!

Edward: Ew…Bella what are you doing?!

Letter C: Love…

Letter A: Something…

Letter N: Exciting…

Letter D: And…

Letter Y: New…

Gerard: What the HECK?! Singing LETTERS?!

Jasper: Actually, EVIL singing Letters.

L.C.: 2 questions… 1. What happened to Jakey the retard?

(flashes back to cave)

Jakey: Hello? Is anyone there?…hello?

L.C.: Okay, and 2. How can you be in love with a TWIG?

Gerard: I dunno. How do letters SING?

Edward: Oh no you di-int! If it's going to be that way…

(Smoke and two machines rise from the ground, lights are deflected and music is heard)

I challenge you to Dance Dance Revolution!

Gerard: What did I _do?_

Letter C: You have insulted the LETTERS. You shall learn to respect our Authorita. We challenge you to DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!

(Letters spin and are suddenly dressed in gangsta clothes)

Gerard: You've got to be KIDDING ME!!

Letter A: Now come to the dance floor.

Gerard: Fine…

(slumps over to the colorful D.D.R)

What did I so to insult YOU anyway?!

Jasper: Dance Pants Revosmoochun! I challenge ooh Gersmard Pay!

Gerard: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!??

Jasper: I SAID: Dance Pants Revosmoochun! I challenge ooh Gersmard Pay!

L.C.: In English, That's Dance Dance revolution! I challenge you Gerard Way!

Gerard: That makes more sense. All right, Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray!

M.F.B.R.: Here!

Gerard: It's time to kick some butt at Dance Dance Revalution.

Jasper: Dance Pants Revosmoochun! I challenge ooh Gersmard Pay!

Gerard: All RIGHT, CASPER SHNAIL!

Jasper: mutters Finally, someone gets my name right…

Gerard: Okay…

Letter Y: Hey, we still waitin' here foo!

Twig: Gets away from Crazy Bella I challenge MCR, to DDR! But first… pulls out snicker doodle and hands it to Gerard …here you go.

Gerard: COOKIE!!nibbles on it

(Mikey sneaks up from behind and steals Gerard's nibbled cookie)

Mikey: Yeah! COOKIE!

Gerard: MOMMY! MIKEY STOLE MY COOKIE!!!

Ray: Dude, isn't your mom in New Jersey?

Gerard: NO! She's in CHICAGO!

Frank: Chicago's in New Jersey, right?

Gerard: I thought so.

Mikey: IT'S IN ILLIONOIS YOU MORONS!! nibbles on cookie

Bob: DUH… I'm cool!

Mikey: No, you're not.

Bob: Aren't I, my mom says I'm cool. looks at group Are you even listening to me?!

Ray: Not really…

Gerard: HEY! YOU GUYS! Check it out!

goes behind tree and hair is balck again

BLACK!

goes behind tree again hair changes

LONG AND BLACK!

goes behind tree and hair is white

WHITE!

You get the point

BLACK! WHITE!BLACK!WHITE!BLACK-

Mikey: throws cookie at him SHUT UP!

Gerard: opens mouth and eats cookie YUM.

L.C.: What does this have to do with ECLIPSE?!

Bob:I don't know…

Frank: Well, If Bella and Edward are on their honey moon, Jakey bled to death, and twig and the letters are doing D.D.R then we should end it here…

All of MCR: Okay.

(Sora walks out of nowhere)

Sora: Wait! I want to be in the play too!

(blacks out and numa numa song comes on)

L.C.: So, Bella and Edward are on their honey moon, Jakey bled to death, the twig and singing letters kept doing D.D.R, MCR went back on tour…wait… What happened to JASPER!?


End file.
